Settling Into Cape Town

From March 30

After the blur and business and intense learning of the last twenty-four hours, I can tell that the next five weeks of my life are going to absolutely fly by.

After taking a melatonin pill last night to ensure that I didn’t wake up at 4 in the morning (which would be about 11 PM Brazilian time), I conked out and didn’t wake up until… the alarm of somebody else which sounded an hour and a half before I wanted to arise. Awesome. I took advantage of the extra time to delve into Infinite Jest, a thousand-page odyssey set in Boston, Massachusetts that I began two weeks ago and had hoped to finish before coming to South Africa. Tough luck, but hopefully I will finish it quickly now that I have extremely limited distractions—but more about that in a bit.

In every other country to which we’ve travelled, we have been afforded at least eighteen hours of uninterrupted chill and rest before programming begins. Not so with Cape Town. As I said, we were shepherded around town all of yesterday, then given an 8:30 AM call-time with the expectation that we would have “recovered” from jetlag. LOL YA OK.

But, we all composed ourselves and mustered some excitement for the scavenger-hunt-like activity this morning. We were given a one-page list of walking instructions and leading questions then allowed to roam the city center in groups of seven. My group happened upon some fascinating sights, including:

• The former sight of the Racial Classification Board, a governmental organization that decided the designation of “white,” “colored,” “black,” and numerous other sickening labels that would decide everything about the rights and lives of the citizens. I have yet to find out how apartheid differed from Jim Crow in the South—or whether it did at all—but it was still jarring to see the relics of two benches, one with the inscription “Whites Only,” the other with the inscription “Non-Whites Only.”
•  The site of the first public library in South AfricaThe Centre of the Book, an institution dedicated to cultivating a love of reading in South Africa
• The Supreme Court of South Africa—fascinating, as I hope to one day work at (or across the street/town from) its American equivalent *wink wink*
• Cape Town’s City Hall—the site of Nelson Mandela’s very first speech. Actually, the balcony on which he spoke was blocked from the public behind locked gates, but after explaining our identities and situation to a few people inside of the building, we were taken on a private tour by one of the higher-ups through the hallways and out onto the actual balcony. SO cool!!
• We then nabbed a quick lunch (not Indian, phew), then headed to a public library for class. I had to be cajoled through the numerous stacks of fascinating books, as I almost halted in the middle of the library to check out like fifteen novels. We sat through about four and a half more hours of class—which I would have fallen asleep in were it not for the fascinating material and my determined resolution to really and truly make the most of Cape Town

A few days ago, I realized with a start that my time on this study abroad program is almost over and that I have not nearly begun to make of it what I hope to. In India, I was overwhelmed—emotionally, sensorally, psychologically—and it was personally impossible for me to invest my full attention and intellect in the academia and culture. I was simply too exhausted and too busy trying to survive with my sanity intact. In Sao Paulo, I fell in love with the city and with my host family. I visited museums and went to a few nightclubs (okay, only one) and hung out with my host sister and niece. However, I played Sudoku in class and spent too much time rolling my eyes at boring, repetitive lectures. Cape Town, I’ve decided, is my place. I will do every reading (or almost every reading); I will think critically about the issues with which I am presented; I will explore the nooks and crannies of the nature, the museums, the clubs, and the stores of this city with excitement and an open mind. (Starting tomorrow, because I opted for an early night of sleep in lieu of a jazz festival. I’m jetlagged, okay!??!)

After class, we drove a short distance to Bo’Kaap, a Muslim neighborhood in the city centre and our homes for the next ten days. Yes—ten days. We have two homestays here in Cape Town, meaning two partners, two families, two households, two sets of rules, two types of cooking, etc. etc. My homestay mother—whom I call Mama—calls Savannah and I her “darlings” and cooked us a delicious dinner and showed us her stunning view of the city of Cape Town (two amazing views in a row—I’m so lucky!!). My homestay dad, Papa, bought me delicious ice cream from a nearby market, so clearly, they already know me well.

There’s no WiFi in my homestay, which I strangely and kind of shockingly was hoping for. I think that in Sao Paulo, I checked Facebook/Snapchat/Twitter too often; that I thought of who was messaging me or who wasn’t messaging me with an unhealthy mindset; that I obsessed over the mundane and petty back home and back at school too heartily. It made me uneasy. I want to totally devote my attention and energy to Cape Town, and I hope to return to the contemplative, inflective state that I’d acquired in India.

I never would have imagined that I’d forgo WiFi happily and eagerly. I never would have thought that I’d breathe a sigh of relief in finding I had no Internet. And that makes me wonder—have I changed? I’ve attributed all of my new qualities—a recognition of certain inequalities; attentiveness to detail; more intellectual and meaningful observation and conversation; a fiery resolution to stick by my ideals; an invasive negativity that can cloud my shiny, naïve optimism; uneasiness with going out on the town; and many more that I’m just beginning to realize as I actually list them—to my surroundings; I’ve recognized them as temporary, fleeting mechanisms with which to cope with these foreign environments. But what if that’s me now? What if I return to America, to California and Boston, and realize that I’ve carried with me these new outlooks and ideas and ways of approaching the world? Or perhaps, in a potentially scarier outcome, what if I shed these traits and slip back comfortably into the life of the Aubrey that departed for New York two and a half months ago? I feel so in flux, and I wonder if others will think that I have changed when I come back home.

I will be finding out soon, though, because this program really is almost over. I almost teared up today, thinking of saying goodbye to Sally, Jenn, and Caitlin. I honestly don’t know how I’ll function without their constant presence—I already miss Sally’s laugh, and it’s only been four hours since I’ve seen her!!! Excepting one weekend in India, this is probably the furthest I’ve been from her for a period longer than three or four hours, considering we were homestay partners then neighbors then spring break buddies. How absurd that I’ve grown so close so quickly to these lovely people and that we will never be so physically close for such a long time ever again. UGH but wait I have another month and I don’t want to cry on my first night in this homestay!!! So, I think I’ll end this post right about now, and reaffirm my gratefulness for this opportunity, my joy in recognizing how lucky I am, and my determination to make the most of Cape Town and really reflect on what I’ve accomplished so far.

Lots of love,

Aubrey