Tired.

The past few days make me wanna--

Let me explain why.

First of all, a hilarious, albeit tragic, sequence of events that I was too ashamed to share with you all a few days ago, but I figure I will now.

I have this cool app on my phone called "TimeHop," which presents me every morning with a summary of every single social media post and text I've sent on that exact day in previous years. So, on July 26, 2015, I got to see the posts from 7/26/14, 7/26/13, etc. etc. And what happened on those days, you may ask?

July 26, 2013: My six month "anniversary" with my ex-boyfriend. Awk nowadays, but sweet at the time.

July 26, 2014: My first ever kiss with a long-time crush. AWHHH. (No, it didn't work out.)

And on July 26, 2015--I logged onto my YouTube account and the first suggested video was titled "Life With Cats."

Life.

With.

Cats.

absolute, utter shock

So, in other words, I'm going to die alone. Where did I go wrong, my dear readers!!???!!

I mean, I'm joking. I know that my single status has allowed me to embark on unforeseen adventures. I'm in a foreign country with zero obligations (except the daily call to my mommy), and I get to explore the world without inhibitions or guilt. I wouldn't trade my lack of a love life for anything.

Still... When I see the daily engagements on my Facebook newsfeed of my high school classmates and college peers, I wanna yell--

Don't grow up, then I'll have to!!!!

But hey--I'm still kind of an adult!! I mean, I woke up early this morning to do dishes, to load some laundry, and to clean up the kitchen. 

I know my mom is reading this right now like, um excuse me? You know how to do dishes?

But because my family left yesterday (which I honestly can't think of right now without tears coming to my eyes), I feel like I possess some responsibility in the maintenance of the house. Michal and I are gonna take GREAT care of this home.

I strolled to the nearby market to buy an ingredient for banana bread, which I planned to make as a nice treat for dessert. 

But let me tell you what being away from home means.

It means staring at a wall of packaged dairy products without understanding any of the package labels since you don't know the language.

It means handing the cashier a 100 bill because the garble of Hebrew that was meant to mean numbers made no sense and you're too embarrassed to admit you only speak English.

It means forgoing any sense of comfort, or ease, or comprehension in order to submerge yourself in confusion and plain idiocy at times for the sake of learning culture and living in an incredible, unfamiliar place.

And I know I'm lucky and that this is an amazing opportunity, and I am taking advantage of every second--but I am exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically. I feel like I'm always on edge, because I never quite know what is going on around me. It takes a lot of energy! 

Which means... I need sleep. After this next episode of "Army Wives," that is.

Gonna sleep like a rock,

Aubs-a-lot

And So It Begins...

Two weeks. Fourteen days. Three hundred and thirty six hours. From the moment I hopped off the plane at LAX to join my family to the moment I waved goodbye with blurry, tear-filled eyes, I had almost exactly two weeks. My time back home in California was--as it always is--incredible. Seeing friends, family, the beach, and my dogs refreshed my exhausted mind and soul and replenished my eagerness to see more of the world.

I landed in Toronto, Canada, a few hours ago and began my 10.5 hour layover (!!!) and my wait for my second red-eye flight in just 24 hours.

Projected future for Aubrey at her internship in two days

I didn't want to just sit in an airport and twiddle my thumbs for half a day, so I decided to explore the city of Toronto. But even a layover in a country only a few hundred miles from the United States can teach a newbie world-traveler quite a few things.

I've already learned that there are certain moments in travelling in which you are struck by the depth of your own conceit. My own moment occurred as I pondered how bizarre it must be for Canadians to have American presidents on their dollars--until I realized with a sudden flash of dread that Canadian dollars were probably significantly different from American dollars. A rush to the nearest currency exchange stand confirmed my ignorance.

Isn't that strange, though? I had not even realized until I arrived that I'd always assumed American and Canadian dollars were the same exact thing. Basically, travelling makes you feel like an absolute fool 99% of the time until you can come back to your home state or country and act worldly, wise, and not at all an imbecile.

I've also accepted that I will have to ask (literally) hundreds of questions a day if I want to eat, move around, and survive abroad. I think that my father has had a profound impact on my willingness to ask and my appreciation for questions. He has a thirst for knowledge and tidbits that is unmatched. Whether he is asking to hear the Uber driver's life story or the origin of the grocery checker's accent, he is always hunting for new information. He embodies the "learn something new every day" mentality, and I plan to emulate him this summer.

I rode on a commuter train downtown and found that the outskirts of Toronto exude a natural beauty that I've never seen on the borders of American cities. the green foliage and winding rivers are offset by dingy concrete and brick office buildings. Excepting the occasional glimpse of untouched wild, the suburbs of Toronto are all but indistinguishable from those of New England.

I probably could not ask for a better place to layover. A different country that still feels close to home. It should give me some time to adjust to the different languages, the different expectations, and the reminder that I won't be stepping foot on American soil for another three and a half months.

I have about four hours left before I have to make my way back to the airport, so I'll probably grab some lunch and walk around the city. And MAYBE, if I muster up the courage, I'll even check out the 147-floor CN Tower...

WOAH.

Signed,
World Traveler Aubs