Short and Sour

Okay, this post is going to be really short and slightly depressing, so just brace yourselves I guess.

Kajsa and I headed to the Tel Aviv beach with some acai bowls after work, which was beyond lovely, but the night was a bit of a bust. We decided at 9:30 PM to head home from Tel Aviv, about 15 miles or so from Raanana, and I didn't walk into the door until 12:30 AM. Sometimes I'm able to blow off minor setbacks with a shrug and a smile, but tonight, I'm just a little too frustrated, a little too tired, and a little too sad.

I feel fragile, like I did this past winter in Cambridge. It's like I'm a giant Jenga tower, and every small setback like the bus being 40 minutes late, or the bus driver setting the air to 59 degrees in the bus (seriously, dude?), or being locked out pulls one of those tiny little blocks from my precarious structure.

And I'm just homesick, and exhausted, and even though tons of funny and wonderful things happened today, I think that for the sake of my own sanity, I have to cut this blog short, get some rest, and reset my mind and outlook and attitude. I'll fill you in tomorrow on the hilarious antics of Davit, the complimenter, and the random guy who spit at me and Kajsa at the beach. For now... I need to crawl into bed and shut off my consciousness.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Gonna sleep it off,
Aubrye

Tired.

The past few days make me wanna--

Let me explain why.

First of all, a hilarious, albeit tragic, sequence of events that I was too ashamed to share with you all a few days ago, but I figure I will now.

I have this cool app on my phone called "TimeHop," which presents me every morning with a summary of every single social media post and text I've sent on that exact day in previous years. So, on July 26, 2015, I got to see the posts from 7/26/14, 7/26/13, etc. etc. And what happened on those days, you may ask?

July 26, 2013: My six month "anniversary" with my ex-boyfriend. Awk nowadays, but sweet at the time.

July 26, 2014: My first ever kiss with a long-time crush. AWHHH. (No, it didn't work out.)

And on July 26, 2015--I logged onto my YouTube account and the first suggested video was titled "Life With Cats."

Life.

With.

Cats.

absolute, utter shock

So, in other words, I'm going to die alone. Where did I go wrong, my dear readers!!???!!

I mean, I'm joking. I know that my single status has allowed me to embark on unforeseen adventures. I'm in a foreign country with zero obligations (except the daily call to my mommy), and I get to explore the world without inhibitions or guilt. I wouldn't trade my lack of a love life for anything.

Still... When I see the daily engagements on my Facebook newsfeed of my high school classmates and college peers, I wanna yell--

Don't grow up, then I'll have to!!!!

But hey--I'm still kind of an adult!! I mean, I woke up early this morning to do dishes, to load some laundry, and to clean up the kitchen. 

I know my mom is reading this right now like, um excuse me? You know how to do dishes?

But because my family left yesterday (which I honestly can't think of right now without tears coming to my eyes), I feel like I possess some responsibility in the maintenance of the house. Michal and I are gonna take GREAT care of this home.

I strolled to the nearby market to buy an ingredient for banana bread, which I planned to make as a nice treat for dessert. 

But let me tell you what being away from home means.

It means staring at a wall of packaged dairy products without understanding any of the package labels since you don't know the language.

It means handing the cashier a 100 bill because the garble of Hebrew that was meant to mean numbers made no sense and you're too embarrassed to admit you only speak English.

It means forgoing any sense of comfort, or ease, or comprehension in order to submerge yourself in confusion and plain idiocy at times for the sake of learning culture and living in an incredible, unfamiliar place.

And I know I'm lucky and that this is an amazing opportunity, and I am taking advantage of every second--but I am exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically. I feel like I'm always on edge, because I never quite know what is going on around me. It takes a lot of energy! 

Which means... I need sleep. After this next episode of "Army Wives," that is.

Gonna sleep like a rock,

Aubs-a-lot