Tired.

The past few days make me wanna--

Let me explain why.

First of all, a hilarious, albeit tragic, sequence of events that I was too ashamed to share with you all a few days ago, but I figure I will now.

I have this cool app on my phone called "TimeHop," which presents me every morning with a summary of every single social media post and text I've sent on that exact day in previous years. So, on July 26, 2015, I got to see the posts from 7/26/14, 7/26/13, etc. etc. And what happened on those days, you may ask?

July 26, 2013: My six month "anniversary" with my ex-boyfriend. Awk nowadays, but sweet at the time.

July 26, 2014: My first ever kiss with a long-time crush. AWHHH. (No, it didn't work out.)

And on July 26, 2015--I logged onto my YouTube account and the first suggested video was titled "Life With Cats."

Life.

With.

Cats.

absolute, utter shock

So, in other words, I'm going to die alone. Where did I go wrong, my dear readers!!???!!

I mean, I'm joking. I know that my single status has allowed me to embark on unforeseen adventures. I'm in a foreign country with zero obligations (except the daily call to my mommy), and I get to explore the world without inhibitions or guilt. I wouldn't trade my lack of a love life for anything.

Still... When I see the daily engagements on my Facebook newsfeed of my high school classmates and college peers, I wanna yell--

Don't grow up, then I'll have to!!!!

But hey--I'm still kind of an adult!! I mean, I woke up early this morning to do dishes, to load some laundry, and to clean up the kitchen. 

I know my mom is reading this right now like, um excuse me? You know how to do dishes?

But because my family left yesterday (which I honestly can't think of right now without tears coming to my eyes), I feel like I possess some responsibility in the maintenance of the house. Michal and I are gonna take GREAT care of this home.

I strolled to the nearby market to buy an ingredient for banana bread, which I planned to make as a nice treat for dessert. 

But let me tell you what being away from home means.

It means staring at a wall of packaged dairy products without understanding any of the package labels since you don't know the language.

It means handing the cashier a 100 bill because the garble of Hebrew that was meant to mean numbers made no sense and you're too embarrassed to admit you only speak English.

It means forgoing any sense of comfort, or ease, or comprehension in order to submerge yourself in confusion and plain idiocy at times for the sake of learning culture and living in an incredible, unfamiliar place.

And I know I'm lucky and that this is an amazing opportunity, and I am taking advantage of every second--but I am exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically. I feel like I'm always on edge, because I never quite know what is going on around me. It takes a lot of energy! 

Which means... I need sleep. After this next episode of "Army Wives," that is.

Gonna sleep like a rock,

Aubs-a-lot

Where Jesus Lived

Today held some incredible adventures. I explored Nazareth, Capernaum, and the villages surrounding the Sea of Galilee to learn about Jesus' life and witness where he lived and grew up.

Two other interns, one of the intern's mothers, and I met up in Tel Aviv around 7 this morning to begin the long drive up to Nazareth. Right from the beginning, we could tell that this was going to be a rather "tourist-y" tour. Our guide spouted off some basic facts about Israel and Judaism, and I was like, 

"Yeah yeah yeah. I know all of this already."

And that's when I realized that I am not really a tourist anymore. Israel has become my home--how lucky am I? So many people are lucky to have a single home, one place they feel loved and comfortable and joyful. I now have three-- home home (Anaheim), school home (Boston), and my spiritual, immersive home away from home Israel. 

Anyways, after a little catnap and a whole cup of coffee, we arrived in Nazareth, the city in which Jesus grew up. We first visited the Church of Annunciation.

That's me!

I adored this church. First of all, quite a bit of Latin was engraved on the walls of the church, so I had the amazing opportunity to actually utilize this past year of learning a dead language. I felt pretty itchicated (translated to educated, if you're not privy to my family's pronunciation).

Anyways!

Broad view of the top floor to the left and bottom floor to the right

This church is built on Mother Mary's home, which was actually a cave and the site of the Angel Gabriel's appearance.

Mary's home!

The second floor of the church holds a chapel. My absolute favorite part of this church was the contribution by almost every country in the world that holds Christian congregations. Each country was asked to donate its own interpretation of the Madonna and Child. You might be able to see some of the stunning mosaics on the left wall; some countries even sent in statues and paintings. I loved how the different cultures of each country shined through each piece of artwork.

The chapel

The top of the church was a lighthouse, due to the beautiful verse in the Bible about Jesus being the light of the world. Makes me want to put a lighthouse on top of my mansion. That will be filled with 35 dogs. But I digress.

The Church of Annunciation

We made the quick walk to the Church of St. Joseph (more Latin, more vindicated Aubs). This church held Joseph, Mary, and Jesus' home that he grew up in.

The home!

 It gave an awe-inspiring sense of wonder, and fulfillment, and joy. And it also helped me to realize an elusive concept that I've only begun to learn in Israel. I first stumbled across this epiphany in Jerusalem, when I encountered the Via Dolorosa, or the walk that Jesus took through Jerusalem with the cross. "This," signs would proudly proclaim, "is the exact spot at which Jesus stumbled."

"And here," another sign would carry on about five minutes down the path, "is the exact spot where he took a sip of water."

Those are the agreed-upon sites. Then, there are points of contention, especially between the Catholic and Orthodox churches. Where exactly was Christ held before his execution, and where exactly was this or that miracle performed?

And now I realize--it doesn't matter in the slightest. The historian in me shrieks, shudders, and cowers from this spiritual conclusion; part of me needs to know the exact second, position, and tone in which every action took place. But now I realize, that when it comes to matters of religion and spirituality and the heart, perception is just as, if not more, important than reality. Is this the exact village in which Jesus lived?

Maybe. Maybe not. But does it evoke feelings of gratitude and wonder and adoration for the man that died for the sins of humanity? Absolutely. And I truly believe that is what matters. It is not whether or not I am truly walking in the footsteps of Christ. It is more that being near the spot and watching other faithful believers fall on their knees in praise and knowing that God is happy I'm at least trying to see where He lived and learned and grew up is more than enough.

But, like, it'd still be nice to know...From a historical perspective, of course.

Onto the Church of Multiplication!

Me!

This was where Jesus performed the miracle of multiplying the bread and fish to feed the multitudes. Supah cool!

Burned.

Only a month ago, some extremists attempted to burn down this church and graffiti the walls. Luckily, they were able to stop the fire! But the damage still shows.

The exact site!

This was a very humble but beautiful church. It sat right on the banks of the Sea of Galilee. We then drove on to Capernaum, the city in which Jesus performed his ministry.

St. Peter's House

This was St. Peter's House, where Jesus lived for the last years of His life. 

The ruins

You can honestly still tell that it was a stunning city in its day.

yooo.

The beautiful, partially-restored synagogue sits in the middle of the the city. I had to teach all these tourists about Judaism. Ugh, clueless Gentiles. Geez.

Columnssss

I got to sit on the shores of the Sea of Galilee, where Jesus walked on water (one of my favorite biblical stories, by the way).

Artsy

The Sea of Galilee is filled with black volcanic rock and ash. It was such warm water. I wanted to soak in it literally forever!

The tour moved on to its last stop: the Jordan River.

So clean and clear!

This is where Jesus was baptised by John the Baptist. One of my friends got baptised in the water, and a few people tried to convince me to join. I don't know--this experience has definitely deepened my faith, but not in the most traditional way. I didn't feel comfortable consenting to a baptism when I still don't quite know where I stand on religion or what my spirituality really is. So I watched the touching ceremony take place. 

Also, how hilarious is this picture?

Smartest kitty in the land

I got home a few hours later and sat down for dinner with the fam. We had an impromptu Hebrew lesson, and I realized I basically know the entire alphabet. Wahoo! I tried to spell a few words, and my attempts spurred some chuckles and compliments of how "cute" my spellings were. I tried hehe. 

Anyways, wonderful day. Learned so much and loved my experiences. 

Walking in the (possibly metaphorical, possibly physical) footsteps of Jesus,

Aubs-a-lot

Cheers to the Weekend

My past two days on the job have been exhausting but incredible. I'm basically given six hours a day to explore the internet and learn everything there is to know about terrorism. A daunting task, surely--but WOW. It's incredible to be given the time to learn simply for the sake of learning without stressing over wasting time or procrastinating from other tasks. That being said, it can be horrific reading about ISIS and their shameful, hateful acts for a significant part of my day. It seems so wasteful--killing oneself and others for the sake of appeasing a "loving" god? How depressing. But one can only hope that the work being done by people like me (hold the applause) will one day eradicate, or at least deter, such actions. It feels relevant and important and fulfilling to contribute even in a small way to such work.

I try to refrain from giving myself too many of these.

I've given myself the task of learning the Hebrew alphabet! See, languages like Hebrew, and Arabic, and Chinese are crazy, because they use completely different letters than the Romantic and Germanic languages. Like, at least when you're dying of thirst in Mexico, you can sound out the word "a-g-u-a" and be like, hm aqua, blue, water, seems legit, I'm headed wherever that word is pointing. With Hebrew, the letters are just COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Like, square squiggle rounded-box line. Like ya, good luck with that.

Actual picture of me attempting to read public transportation signs

But so far, I've learned eight of twenty-two letters (GO ME) and can sound out the first or last syllable of basically every word. (omg, I think that word is something something "mah!" yeah, Aubs!) But I mean, hey. We've all gotta start somewhere.

I've started planning some trips with the other interns in my office. We are going to start exploring Tel Aviv and hopefully Jerusalem this weekend--which, by the way, starts on Fridays in Israel, so it's officially the weekend! 

Will I still have friends if I dance like this?

It still seems so surreal that I'm across the world, in a country like beautiful Israel. I'm miles from where Jesus walked! I'm a short bike ride from the Mediterranean!! I'm on the border of the country with pyramids!!! (Looking back at those sentences, I realize my buildup was probably out of order... Oops.)

my b, big J, ilyily

But seriously guys... I'm in Israel. It's an absolute paradise. The sun kisses my skin as I walk a short five minutes to the bus stop. Leafy trees hang over the sidewalks, and round bumblebees lazily buzz around the flowers. The suburbs are quaint, and clean, and homey. I love it here. 

I'm planning on biking to the beach tomorrow to catch some rays. SO excited to feel the sand beneath my toes and dip into the turquoise water! 

This is Herzliya Beach, and that's me jumping into the waves

Til next time,

Counter-terrorist Californian Aubs